You have to know what to cut out before you can fully develop. I recently read the book Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. In this book he talks about “The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships that All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward.” This book really resonated with me because I have, and I think we all have, people, positions or beliefs we should give up.

There are a number of reasons that we fail to make the “necessary endings”. We may feel a level of commitment, or love, or accountability. Take for example a job that you have been doing for a number of years that just isn’t fulfilling. You may feel that you need to continue in the role out of an obligation to your employer, or a responsibility to finish a project, or a fear that leaving now would be financially detrimental. In each situation there are a variety of reasons that we hold on when the right move is to let go.

One of my favorite analogies in the book is that of the rose bush. I live here in San Jose, California where the weather is great a lot of the time. Because of the weather, we are able to grow roses virtually year round. We have neighbors who spend hours a week grooming and nurturing their roses and they take great pride in the success of their rose gardens. Personally I’m not much of a rose person but I appreciate the analogy Dr. Cloud uses.

When looking at a rose bush you will find that there are generally 3 different types of buds. The first type is the clearly dead. Every rose bush will have a certain number of branches that are dead. They have no chance of becoming healthy roses. It is clear that the best strategy when dealing with this type of rose branch is to remove it; cut it out. If you don’t it will cause the healthy branches to grow around it and alter their development and impede their progress.

Like the rose bush, each of us have things or people in our lives that are dead. Do you have someone you are close to that doesn’t add any value to your life, isn’t helping you reach your potential, or is impeding your development? These people or circumstances need to just be removed. You need to cut them out of your life. Recognize that this isn’t just people, it could be habits that you have or the environment you participate in that is stopping your progress. Cut it out.

The next type of rose branch is a good branch with a healthy flower forming but that isn’t the best flower. These branches drain nutrients and energy from the healthy roses and slow their growth, delaying their development. This type of rose branch is harder to deal with because it really is a good branch. But removing these good, but not great, branches will allow your great branches to develop more fully and reach their potential.

Similarly, in our lives we have things that are good but may not be the best for us. As difficult as it is, these, like the dead branches, need to be removed for full progress to occur. Do you have people, positions or beliefs in your life that are robbing your time and attention from what is truly important? I believe this is the procrastinator’s biggest obstacle. Do you ever find yourself busy all day but at the end of it with nothing much accomplished? You pushed paper from one side of the desk to the other and cleared your email box but left your “big” project untouched? Focus on the important and remove the mediocre.

Finally, the third type of rose branch is the great and beautiful ones. They might not have reached their full potential yet and need continued care and nurturing but the potential is clear. After you eliminate the mediocre and the dead branches you can focus on the beautiful.

In life I hope you have goals, dreams and aspirations that are enormous. You have the potential to accomplish great things. And like the rose bush, if you focus on your priorities and implement “necessary endings” to the people, positions and beliefs that are holding you back you will thrive and flourish. You will become a success because the Key to Success is Pruning Life’s Roses

Question: Do you have dead or mediocre rose branches in your life that you need to get rid of? What can you do today to create those “necessary endings”? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

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I have talked before on this blog about the importance of having a mentor and working with trusted advisers. I have even encouraged getting a coach or investing financially in your development and education. And I am not the only person talking about this. Mentors have become a buzz word and a topic of conversation at networking events (that’s how you know it’s mainstream). You have heard it all before so today let’s zag a little bit; let’s talk unconventional. Your ability to make quantum leaps, to take your family, your business and your life to a higher level of success and fulfillment is dependent on your willingness to look outside the status quote and separate yourself from the ordinary.

You will never find uncommon success focused on common methods. You need to think outside the box to gain different perspectives. You need a Development Council.

A few years ago I was hired by a local nonprofit as the Director of Development. This was a big promotion for me and gave me the opportunity to try new things and face new challenges. It also gave me the opportunity to hold a position of leadership and become a member of the senior management team. This team of upper level managers, including the CEO, meets weekly to discuss strategy, handle personnel issues and ideally catch problems before they grow out of control. This is a pretty conventional group; most companies have a senior management team that gathers periodically to handle these types of issues. And it’s not what I am talking about when it comes to your Development Council.

I am referring to a group of advisors that can give unconventional perspective and ideas to conventional problems. To truly create breakthrough performance you have to think differently, break the norms and, dare I say, be a little crazy. A Development Council will push you to look at your opportunities, and the world, in a way you hadn’t before. That’s the point. So who should be on this distinguished Council?

Your Tribe– Built with a blog, your blog- If you don’t have a personal blog, and if you’re not (at least) semi-active on social media, you really should make the effort. In a later post I will go through all the powerful benefits of doing this. But, for this conversation let’s just briefly say it gives you a platform to gather the perspective of others, a lot of others. On Facebook alone there are over three-quarters of a billion (with a B) people every day checking in. If you want unconventional advice reach out and ask that group how to approach a problem. When you have a blog you have a voice and a platform to state your need. From there you will be able to get advice (good and bad). It is up to you to sort it all out.

Your brother (or sister) – For many years I have held a weekly call with my brother to discuss accountability and goal achievement. While we both focus our careers in very different industries, I continuously draw great ideas from his perspective. He doesn’t see the limitations, real or imagined, that I see and he often poses solutions that I didn’t consider. I love when he gives me a suggestion, I say it will never work, he asks why, I stumble to respond, then go out and try it to success. This also works with my wife who is a great sounding board for problems and a source of insight (and support- thanks babe).

A Competitor – I said we’d need to get a little crazy. In my nonprofit fundraising world it is highly competitive. Donors and companies have a limited charitable dollars and unlimited charitable requests. This is especially true in a big city like the Bay Area. But, I have gotten some great advice from my competitors. Whether they know it or not, every time we have the opportunity to interact I get new insights and perspective. Because we all approach similar problems from differing banks of experience and knowledge we often approach those problems differently. It pays to know how your competition thinks.

A kid – Kids don’t see things as impossibilities only opportunities. Kids don’t focus on what can’t be done but on how it can be done and how quickly we can begin. When you see limitations they see creative solutions. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all think more like kids? The possibilities would be endless. Have you ever watched a kid take apart a machine just to see how it works? They love to take a question, no matter how complex, and break it down, figure it out. Run your ideas past a kid and see where his imagination can take you.

To reach a higher level of success you need to think unconventionally, you need to be different and you need to see things those around you miss or dismiss. Put together your Development Council and create opportunities for growth, learning and experimentation. Be a bit crazy and find unconventional success – Zag when everyone else zigs.

Question: Who do you turn to for unconventional wisdom? Leave your comments below or by clicking here

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I could use a little bit more income, couldn’t we all? When it comes to making more money there are three rules that make all the difference.

Like many kids in the eighties, I was a huge Chicago Bulls fan. Let’s be honest, I was really a Michael Jordan fan. I spent many days/nights dribbling a ball and trying to replicate some of the behind the back and over the shoulder plays Jordan made look easy. At eight I took on my first entrepreneurial adventure, selling greeting cards door-to-door hoping to sell enough to get my very own basketball.

From those early days until now I have always had a drive to increase my income and the opportunities that come along with it. I have learned a lot about sells, marketing, budgeting, goal setting and saving. Through it all I think I have found three rules that, if followed, will increase your money making success. The three rules are:

1. Help other people first
2. Do what others are unable and unwilling
3. Education is worth the investment

Rule #1 is rule #1 for a reason- it makes all of the difference. If you are able to help people achieve their desires there is no limit to reciprocal benefits that will come your way. As my mentor Zig Ziglar used to teach, you can have everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want. Other entrepreneurs would say “find a need and fill it” or “give people what they want and you will never go hungry”. So the first rule of making more money is to focus on helping others, the money will follow.

Rule #2 – Do what others are unable or unwilling to do – This secret is all about getting in and getting the job done. My first job as a teenager came at the young age of 13. For two consecutive summers I would daily ride the bus one hour into town to spend two hours cleaning floors and emptying trash at a popular pizza shop. I made minimum wage, which at the time (age 13) felt like a king’s ransom. I loved the responsibility of getting to work on time and working hard for my pay. I felt so independent.

During that same summer, many of my friends played video games and watched television, unwilling to put in any effort to make a little spending money. The idea of emptying food trash was so “uncool”. But, it was during this time that I realized those who commit to doing a good job in the position they are offered will be offered increased opportunity and increased reward. By the end of my pizza shop days I was behind the counter spinning pizzas and baking the pies, the “cool” job. It was so much fun and an experience I will never forget, all because I was willing to change trash to get started.

Rule #3 – Education is worth the investment. When you visit with a banker or financial planner they focus on your return on investment (ROI). You put in some cash, buy some property or securities and watch the interest compound. What is often overlooked in this process is the FACT that investing in education returns an interest that may be far greater than all your other accounts combined.

According to researchers at the Economic Research Department of the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco, a 4 year college graduate will make an estimated $800,000 more during their lifetime than a person with a high school diploma only. That amount is mindboggling but it probably underestimates the true value of  lifelong learning; and it doesn’t even factor in the effect of continuing education either formally through job training or informally at home or in the car. I have long been a student at Automobile University and calculate that I have read over 350 nonfiction books in the past 10 years. The impact of that learning has skyrocketed my career and opened doors I didn’t even know existed.

Throughout my life I have focused on the three rules of making more money and have found success in their implementation. I would not be where I am at today and could never get to where I am going without a focus on helping other people get what they want, doing the job that needs to be done and continuous learning. Watch out world- as I continue to focus on these three rules I will reach the level of success I am destined for.

Question: I want to hear what you think- How have the rules helped you along your journey? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

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In October 2003 my wife and I woke up Sunday morning to an eerie orange glow in our bedroom. We were newlyweds living in San Diego, CA. As we looked out the window, we saw what looked like snow- this is San Diego mind you. In reality it was ash, the orange glow was fire. We were less than a mile from the largest wildfire ever recorded in California History (burned over 800,000 acres). Fueled by the Santa Ana winds, the fire had grown through the night and surprised many sleeping residents by morning. During the course of this fire 15 people would lose their lives and hundreds of millions of dollars in damage would occur (over 2000 homes were lost).

Our apartment was right next to the San Diego Chargers Football Stadium which became an evacuation shelter. As an aside, the Monday Night Football game was moved to Arizona and work and school were cancelled the entire week. Needless to say, it was a big deal and a very scary time. It took years for the community to recover.

But there is a part of this story that is inspirational; the emergence of a hero. In a community north of where we were living a young boy was evacuated from his home to the nearby elementary school, his school. The school was also being used as a command post for the firefighting efforts. The young man had already lost his home in the fire but, as the news would report, he asked his mom if he could make sandwiches for the firefighters working around the clock. It became a great story of a young man more concerned about others and helping where he could than about his own safety, security and personal loss.

I think there is a lot that we can learn from this young man. I shared this story because we all go through ups and downs in life….right? Sometimes it just feels like our house is on fire and there is a chance we could lose it all. Do you have people in your life willing to stand up and make a difference, to be a part of the solution? Are you that type of person? We should all strive to be that support group for each other.

You can make a difference in someone else’s life.

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