You have to know what to cut out before you can fully develop. I recently read the book Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud. In this book he talks about “The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships that All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward.” This book really resonated with me because I have, and I think we all have, people, positions or beliefs we should give up.
There are a number of reasons that we fail to make the “necessary endings”. We may feel a level of commitment, or love, or accountability. Take for example a job that you have been doing for a number of years that just isn’t fulfilling. You may feel that you need to continue in the role out of an obligation to your employer, or a responsibility to finish a project, or a fear that leaving now would be financially detrimental. In each situation there are a variety of reasons that we hold on when the right move is to let go.
One of my favorite analogies in the book is that of the rose bush. I live here in San Jose, California where the weather is great a lot of the time. Because of the weather, we are able to grow roses virtually year round. We have neighbors who spend hours a week grooming and nurturing their roses and they take great pride in the success of their rose gardens. Personally I’m not much of a rose person but I appreciate the analogy Dr. Cloud uses.
When looking at a rose bush you will find that there are generally 3 different types of buds. The first type is the clearly dead. Every rose bush will have a certain number of branches that are dead. They have no chance of becoming healthy roses. It is clear that the best strategy when dealing with this type of rose branch is to remove it; cut it out. If you don’t it will cause the healthy branches to grow around it and alter their development and impede their progress.
Like the rose bush, each of us have things or people in our lives that are dead. Do you have someone you are close to that doesn’t add any value to your life, isn’t helping you reach your potential, or is impeding your development? These people or circumstances need to just be removed. You need to cut them out of your life. Recognize that this isn’t just people, it could be habits that you have or the environment you participate in that is stopping your progress. Cut it out.
The next type of rose branch is a good branch with a healthy flower forming but that isn’t the best flower. These branches drain nutrients and energy from the healthy roses and slow their growth, delaying their development. This type of rose branch is harder to deal with because it really is a good branch. But removing these good, but not great, branches will allow your great branches to develop more fully and reach their potential.
Similarly, in our lives we have things that are good but may not be the best for us. As difficult as it is, these, like the dead branches, need to be removed for full progress to occur. Do you have people, positions or beliefs in your life that are robbing your time and attention from what is truly important? I believe this is the procrastinator’s biggest obstacle. Do you ever find yourself busy all day but at the end of it with nothing much accomplished? You pushed paper from one side of the desk to the other and cleared your email box but left your “big” project untouched? Focus on the important and remove the mediocre.
Finally, the third type of rose branch is the great and beautiful ones. They might not have reached their full potential yet and need continued care and nurturing but the potential is clear. After you eliminate the mediocre and the dead branches you can focus on the beautiful.
In life I hope you have goals, dreams and aspirations that are enormous. You have the potential to accomplish great things. And like the rose bush, if you focus on your priorities and implement “necessary endings” to the people, positions and beliefs that are holding you back you will thrive and flourish. You will become a success because the Key to Success is Pruning Life’s Roses
Question: Do you have dead or mediocre rose branches in your life that you need to get rid of? What can you do today to create those “necessary endings”? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.
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