Towards the end of my second year of law school, my wife said she couldn’t wait for me to be done with school so she could “stop being a law school widow.” That was after a full day of school, one of two part time jobs, and before an evening full of homework. A scenario I’m sure a lot of working-student parents have. At first I laughed at her remark, and then I realized she was right.
We now have a 21-month old and are expecting an addition, 2 weeks before the bar. With that setting the stage, I refer to the advice Donald Sutherland gave to Mark Wahlberg in the 2003 film, The Italian Job, “Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: The ones who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. Don’t be the latter. Makes you miss out on what’s really important in this life.” In a way, he is right; in life there are two kinds of people, those that work to enrich their lives and those that work to define their lives. Don’t be the latter.
In another Hollywood example, the 2008 film Flash of Genius, a story based on the true events of the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper. He tried for years, with little success, to have the major car manufacturers embrace his design. Eventually, Ford and Chrysler would adopt his design by infringing on his patent and giving him no credit. A 14-year court battle ensued consuming all his time and draining him financially. He did finally win the case and received in excess of $28 Million, but what did he give up?
Looking at the balance sheet of the inventor’s life, sure he had Millions, but his family was broken, and for 14 years he spent his every resource on his court battle. He lost 14 years of life and experience with his 6 kids and lost his wife in a divorce. Sure he won a major case and became the subject of a popular Hollywood film but today, 6 years after the film’s release, can you name the inventor?
Robert Kearns.
I’m not here to criticize Mr. Kearns or say he made a wrong choice. Knowing what it took, I hope to never make the same decision. I know what I want out of life, and a “widow and orphans” in exchange for a career is not one of them. Sure, we need to work to be able to support ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but at what cost?
We must decide, before responsibilities build, how we will manage them. Work hard, fight the good fight, serve others, and then have fun. The things that make you a great, well-rounded person will make you a great lawyer, doctor, banker, parent, student, or any career you accept.
Is this over simplified? Maybe. Will I break my own advice? Probably. But that’s why I have my wife, family and friends to point me down the right track. However my life shakes out, I want to leave a legacy that matters. That may involve achieving some career aspirations, but ultimately I will be remembered for the person I am, not the work I do.
Question: Do you agree that work can either enrich or define your life? What does that mean to you? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.
Family Before Fortune would like to thank our first guest blogger, Logan Daniels. Logan is a recent graduate of the University of Utah School of Law and producer of KSL NewsRadio’s Nightside Project. You can connect with him on twitter @LoganDaniels.