As a child, your brain comes up with these great ideas, great business ideas. I am so proud of my daughter this week. Her school is raising money through a World Walk- walk a thon. They entice the kids with prizes, cheap little trinkets to encourage (bribe) them into guilting their parents and grandparents into supporting the cause. My seven year old set a goal to raise $150. She then calculated that she could get there if her three grandparents kicked in $50 each. Sweet!! I was in the clear… until grandparent one started her off with $25.

Game on– now we had to make up the difference. She was able to convince the other two sets of grandparents into $35 and sat at $95. I smiled and saw this as an opportunity to give her a chance to learn a little a lesson or two on fundraising- namely first offers are jumping off points and matching gifts are win-win. I offered to match her $35 donation if she could get grandparent one up from $25 to $35. It was fun to see a seven year old with all the confidence in the world make that return call and try to explain the matching scenario. It worked and she found herself at $140. Her goal was just around the corner. I had purposely left her a bit shy of the goal to see how she would solve this… her solution… a lemonade stand. If you have ever had the opportunity of overseeing a lemonade operation then you will know what I am referring to. First, a quick stop at the grocery store for ingredients, then home to bake the cookies, get out the table, chairs, paper cups and napkins and design the signage. When all this was complete we moved out to the sun and commenced the sale. These little girls (a sister and next-door neighbor) were great salesmen, waving at every car and yelling “cookies and lemonade”. Success, they did it, and $10 worth of goodies. Of course, I bought $4 personally and spent another $16 on the ingredients (love that buy high and sell low strategy).

All kidding aside, it was truly special to spend that time with my daughter. It was great to see her set goals, work hard, learn lessons and ultimately come out victorious. I made my donation(s) to the World Walk this weekend for three reasons: 1) I believe in helping out the school and giving the local kids in our area a quality educational experience. 2) I love the joy in a kids face (my kid’s face) when they accomplish their goals and 3) I gave her an entrepreneurial experience at a young age that will hopefully foster a confident desire to learn, strive and grow more. Here’s to another glass of $1 lemonade (you can buy it for .25 cents, just talk with my daughter).

Several years ago I heard the title of this article (You Are Going to Leave a Legacy…Whether You Plan to or Not) at a conference. It was one of those brief moments when I had heard something, it sounded right, so I paid little heed to it and moved on. But later, as I reviewed my notes, I started to see something powerful in the thought…I am going to leave a legacy and I can choose what they legacy will be… As I have pondered on the reality and power of this concept and idea it has become more than something that “sounds right”, this is a transformative topic. Throughout history and probably in your own life we see evidence of our desire to leave a lasting positive memory- make a difference.

Often as one ages, that desire to leave a positive mark in society increases. It is often unfortunate that focus and wisdom on this topic come at such a late stage in life, almost (and indeed often) too late. The story is told of an elderly gentleman that lay in his bed nearing the end of his life and lamenting with sorrow a realization that he had spent his life with the wrong focus. He explains to his loved ones that he set out to change the world- but alas the ambition proved too much and he had not achieved that dream. Then, in a moment of clarity, he realizes that if he would have focused on making changes and progress in his personal  life, he could have affected and changed his family, which in turn could have changed and affected his neighborhood, then his community, state and country.

Ultimately, he would have been able to change the world. If we can see our legacy in this regard it will become more clear and attainable. Each of us has the ability to change the world by making little changes within our own lives. It has been said many times that nobody at the end of their life proclaims “if only I had spent more time at the office”. What do you want your legacy to be? Do you have that vision? Start today by following these three simple steps. First, identify what it is you truly value. Next, record those discoveries. And finally, share what you truly value with those you love. In short create your own I.R.S. legacy (Identify, Record, and Share). You will be remembered for what you do today- what will you be remembered for? Choose your legacy.

The miracle of the Chinese Bamboo is a great metaphor for our lives in working with our family to prepare for its future. I first learned of this metaphor while studying the late Stephen R. Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families”. The Chinese Bamboo is unique in that for 5 years there is no physical evidence (above the ground) that anything is happening. For five years, it appears, the seed of the Chinese Bamboo lies dormant, making no progress at all. In reality, the tree is creating an expansive root structure, spreading wide preparing itself for the grandeur of its future. Finally, during that fifth year, an explosion happens; the Chinese Bamboo emerges and then quickly (within 1 year) rises to 80 or more feet in height.

Now you ask, how do I relate this back to our family situations?

Some of you may be going through struggles with your family, a wayward son, an obstinate sibling, a difficult parent or even weakened spousal relations. You feel as though your efforts to restore, rebuild and recreate go unnoticed and unrewarded. Sometime for many years you reach out, try to communicate, apologize, beg and if inclined pray for positive relationship growth. Before giving up, think of that relationship like the Chinese Bamboo. You may be in year four of the growth cycle, with strong roots; tomorrow may be the day that your relationship sprouts to a towering 80 feet.

Let me share a small example, almost 10 years ago I personally faced a relationship crisis. A sibling and I had an unhealthy rivalry. We spent many years competing and arguing, trying to “one-up” each other (sounds shocking I know). History had paid its toll and the relationship had been reduced to near nonexistent. Of course this troubled me (partly out of guilt for my role in perpetuating the decline- which I denied). It seemed that every brief chance we had together only made things worse. But of course the story does not end there (otherwise why would I include it in this article?) One year, you could say “year five”, something changed. It was simple, stupid really, something about mp3 players and sharing music, but it was our opportunity to agree, to put aside trivial matters and work together.

From that moment, the Chinese Bamboo made its first appearance. Within a (very) short time period, the relationship exploded upward. And now… although we live hundreds of miles apart, we talk weekly visit regularly, motivate, inspire, compliment and truly care for each other. Indeed the competition of youth has matured, grown if you will, into the collaboration of adulthood. The point of the Chinese Bamboo metaphor is simple really; we all go through periods in our relationships where we feel growth is obstructed and worry that our efforts are of no value. In reality this is the time that our relationship foundation is being built, the elaborate root system is created that will sustain that relationship and its enormous growth.

Yesterday I began my second reading of Tom Brokaw’s powerful book “The Greatest Generation”. It is a great book sharing the values and telling the stories of those who lived through and experienced World War II. The heroics and the struggles, the triumphs and the changing face of America through the experiences of war. How World War II, with all its atrocities and untimely events, shortened promising lives of so many of our young people. But the book isn’t about death and it’s not about the war, per se. The book is about ordinary people that made extraordinary differences resulting in some of the greatest advances this world has seen in areas of human rights, science, education and family. Indeed one thing that impresses me the most about the book is the lessons of family philanthropy that came from and were taught by this “greatest generation”.

Family Philanthropy is one of the five family building activities that I talk about in my new book “Family Before Fortune” (more on this book, due out later this year, will be the continued focus of the articles found here). One of the ways a family can grow together is through employment of a family philanthropic plan- a lesson in giving….together. The greatest generation has deep community roots. A generation that, often times, was raised, educated, married, started businesses and started families in the same towns they were born. Their community roots run deep.

Often expressing that they know all of their neighbors, never lock their front door and pull together as a community family during times of trial. As we see the continued “flattening of the world”, as children leave the towns of their birth, pursue higher education, and different opportunities, one of the things we are losing as a society is the deep “local” roots of preceding generations. With all the positive opportunities “leaving the nest” provides, there is one value that we as families hope our posterity take with them, a commitment to building their local community. A community is where all participants pull together, making the whole greater than the sum of its parts. Raise our families with the understanding that regardless how often they move, or how many place they call home, the need to positively impact that new society has value, it’s a necessity.