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    Jake

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    Making Widows and Orphans

    by Logan K. Daniels

     

    Towards the end of my second year of law school, my wife said she couldn’t wait for me to be done with school so she could “stop being a law school widow.” That was after a full day of school, one of two part time jobs, and before an evening full of homework. A scenario I’m sure a lot of working-student parents have. At first I laughed at her remark, and then I realized she was right.

    We now have a 21-month old and are expecting an addition, 2 weeks before the bar. With that setting the stage, I refer to the advice Donald Sutherland gave to Mark Wahlberg in the 2003 film, The Italian Job, “Charlie, there are two kinds of thieves in this world: The ones who steal to enrich their lives, and those who steal to define their lives. Don’t be the latter. Makes you miss out on what’s really important in this life.” In a way, he is right; in life there are two kinds of people, those that work to enrich their lives and those that work to define their lives. Don’t be the latter.

    In another Hollywood example, the 2008 film Flash of Genius, a story based on the true events of the man who invented the intermittent windshield wiper. He tried for years, with little success, to have the major car manufacturers embrace his design. Eventually, Ford and Chrysler would adopt his design by infringing on his patent and giving him no credit. A 14-year court battle ensued consuming all his time and draining him financially. He did finally win the case and received in excess of $28 Million, but what did he give up?

    Looking at the balance sheet of the inventor’s life, sure he had Millions, but his family was broken, and for 14 years he spent his every resource on his court battle. He lost 14 years of life and experience with his 6 kids and lost his wife in a divorce. Sure he won a major case and became the subject of a popular Hollywood film but today, 6 years after the film’s release, can you name the inventor?

     

    Robert Kearns.

     

    I’m not here to criticize Mr. Kearns or say he made a wrong choice. Knowing what it took, I hope to never make the same decision. I know what I want out of life, and a “widow and orphans” in exchange for a career is not one of them. Sure, we need to work to be able to support ourselves, and there is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but at what cost?

    We must decide, before responsibilities build, how we will manage them. Work hard, fight the good fight, serve others, and then have fun. The things that make you a great, well-rounded person will make you a great lawyer, doctor, banker, parent, student, or any career you accept.

    Is this over simplified? Maybe. Will I break my own advice? Probably. But that’s why I have my wife, family and friends to point me down the right track. However my life shakes out, I want to leave a legacy that matters. That may involve achieving some career aspirations, but ultimately I will be remembered for the person I am, not the work I do.

     

    Question: Do you agree that work can either enrich or define your life? What does that mean to you? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     

    Family Before Fortune would like to thank our first guest blogger, Logan Daniels. Logan is a recent graduate of the University of Utah School of Law and producer of KSL NewsRadio’s Nightside Project. You can connect with him on twitter @LoganDaniels.

     

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    The Cleansing Power of Hard Work

    As I sit down to write tonight my hands are very sore. They have thousands of tiny cuts on them and a few blisters. The joints are tight and ache to flex. My back is sore and I am pretty sure that I am sunburned. It was a beautiful day today. The type of day you just can’t help but work in the yard.

    We had a lot to do. I admit that I haven’t been the most diligent on keeping up with the yard. I haven’t mowed in more than a month. And weeding? Probably haven’t done it in more than a year (and it was bad). And then on the side of our driveway we had a huge (and I mean huge 20’ x 10’) patch of juniper bush that had been growing wild for years. Well for some reason my wife thought today would be ideal to get someone to watch the kids and tackle the yard. I enjoy working in the yard and look forward to spending time in the sun.

    Today we had 4 hours cutting, chopping, mowing, pulling, sweeping and cleaning. Now that the day is coming to a close, I can feel that I am really sore and truly tired. It was a lot of effort. But it was effort and work that I needed today. Sometimes we need to get out of the house and into the sunshine and work hard. Work on tasks that take very little mental energy, more physical energy and allow our minds to wander.

    Throughout the time we were working we had neighbors stop by and friends drive by and stop and talk. Everyone had smiles and was having a great day. It was really rewarding for at least 4 reasons

    1-      Break the routine. Getting out and doing something that is not my usual daily routine adds variety and interests the mind. It is a change and requires different kinds of thinking.

    2-      Physical- the exercise didn’t hurt either. I have been so busy lately that an area that I have neglected is my exercise. I have spent a lot of time in front of the computer screen and not much time doing anything else. My body was screaming for a chance to move and stretch and use my strength. I know I will feel it tomorrow- I am sure that I will hurt so good.

    3-      Satisfaction of completion- Sometimes (ok maybe always) it feels great to accomplish a task. A lot of what we set out to accomplish at work and at home is ongoing and doesn’t have a clear point of completion. We try to celebrate incremental victories along the way. It is important that we do that. Today was rewarding because as we finished we could take a step back and admire our work. We were able to set a goal, work hard and then have the satisfaction of completion.

    4-      Social- We do not typically spend a lot of time outside at our home. We do get out in the backyard quite a bit to barbeque and enjoy the weather but it is very seldom that “hang out” in the front yard. Today as we worked in the yard we had a number of neighbors and friends that drove by or stopped by. Getting us out of our routine helped us interact and be more social with our neighbors.

    I am definitely headed to bed early tonight. I had a great day, accomplished some great work and spent some time with friends and of course my wife. Getting out and working hard was a great decision today for a number of reason.

     

    Question: What other rewards have you found when you break your routine and get outside and work hard? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     

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    Vote for Averi, A Very Good Choice

    Averi

    This week my 8 year old ran for 4th Grade Vice President. The rules of the election stated: 1) students must be approved by their teacher (meaning academically completing assignments), 2) be interviewed by another teacher, 3) hang one poster at the school, 4) give a short one minute speech to the entire grade and 5) no passing out any candy or otherwise “buying” votes.

    Averi is pretty quiet and I was excited when she decided to give this campaign a try. It was a stretch for her, outside her comfort zone. She worked pretty hard (so did my wife) getting ready for Election Day. With poster in hand, speech memorized and smile on her face she strode to school determined to win. It got me thinking about the qualities of a leader and how they were reinforced by my 8 year old.

    1- Preparation- a leader must be prepared to lead. That preparation begins long before the moment of leadership arrives. Before she could take part in the student elections she was approved by her teacher. They look for kids that have consistently finished assignments and behave in class. If not, you are not allowed to participate. You never know when opportunities to lead will arise but if you are prepared, have handled assignments consistently and accurately in the past, you are qualified to lead.

    2- Make each opportunity count. Your opportunity to lead might be small so you need to make every opportunity count. Averi was only allowed 1 poster and so that poster had to count. She spent a lot of time designing, spacing the lettering and applying liberal amounts of glitter. In leadership you often have only a single chance to make a good impression. As a leader you are always being observed, every decision and action makes you a stronger or weaker leader in the eyes of your followers. Make every opportunity to lead count.

    3- Leadership cannot be bought. A leader must be authentic, someone that others will follow into battle or stay late to finish a project. This type of loyalty cannot be bought with free donuts and coffee in the lunch room. Being a leader is earned by working with and for those you lead.

    4- Step outside your comfort zone- no one is ever fully prepared to lead. As a leader there will always be skills you need to improve. Leadership is not having all the answers; it is about making decisions and following through with commitments. It is about inspiring others to be the best that they can be. Averi got up in front of the nearly 100 kids in her grade and delivered her speech on why she is “a very good choice” for VP. She confidently stood before her peers and delivered her memorized speech. I saw the commitment of a leader. I also could see she was nervous but she overcame those hesitations and stepped out of her comfort zone.

    5- Leadership opportunities come often. There is no shortage of leadership opportunities, just a shortage of leaders. Every day we have opportunities to lead. There are more opportunities to lead than there are leaders willing to step up.

    6- Sometimes a leader is ready to lead but the followers are not quite ready to follow. Being a leader is not just a role formally bestowed. It can also mean being a good follower when someone else selected. Unfortunately, at the end of the voting my daughter was not chosen as the 4th grade Vice President. Someone else was chosen for that opportunity and will do a great job. Of course Averi was crushed, she really wanted to win, but the lessons that she learned about leadership will last her entire life.

    7- Ice Cream and many more opportunities. Last night I took Averi to get ice cream and share how proud I am that she worked hard, prepared, stepped out of her comfort zone and ran for Vice President. She and I counted how many years of school she has left (13) and how many more chances she will have to run for student office. We talked about how she is a leader and others look to her as an example. She is determined that she will start today preparing for next year’s election by making friends, helping those she can and working hard academically. Other opportunities to lead will arise, maybe even today, and I have no doubt this experience has helped her to grow.
    Leadership opportunities abound and true leaders rise to the occasion. Preparation for leadership is not a class or a book but a way of life. Be the leader your family, team or organization needs.

    Question: What leadership lesson has had the biggest impact on your development? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

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    Live During the Best Years of Your Life

    I love to sneak away and get in some mountain biking. Unfortunately, I do not have the opportunity often. This morning, when I got up, the fog was so thick I couldn’t see more than 40 feet ahead. The air was a bit cooler but not cold. It was the perfect morning the break out the old 2 wheeler. I typically listen to music on my iPod shuffle when I ride but this morning I accidentally left it behind. No problem, I would use my iPhone. I have very little music on my phone but I do listen to a load of podcasts and audiobooks. Forced to forgo the music I stuck with podcasts, a new experience. I had long assumed that biking (or running) to a podcast would not give me the energy I’d need to push hard and get up the hills.

     

    Boy was I wrong.

     

    I found that I really got into the discussions and mostly forgot about the hill I was climbing. I was inspired and had some great brainstorming ideas all while doing something I love to do. During my ride I heard a quote that really resonated and I immediately made a note- “live during the best years of your life” from Timothy Farris’ “4 Hour Work Week”. As I sat down to write today I thought back on some of my favorite “live in the now” quotes:

    • Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep on looking until you find. Don’t Settle. — Steve Jobs

    • Carpe Diem or Carpe all your Diems as Michael Hyatt says. (seize the day)

    • Sometimes we become so focused on the finish line that we don’t enjoy the journey – Dieter F Uchtdorf

    • Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want. – Jim Rohn

    • The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise man grows it under his feet. — James Oppenheim

    • What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. — Bob Dylan

    • Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. — Robert Breault

     
     The ride itself today was “so-so”. I know that to really enjoy a good trail you have to “earn your turns” meaning you have to make the sacrifice of going up before you can truly earn and enjoy the trail going down. Today I had an awful lot of uphill work. More than I remember from past rides. On top of that the downhill portions had been so eroded by the recent rains that they were not smooth but rather rutted and technically challenging. I worked as hard going down as I did on the trail up. Thankfully I returned in one piece. It was a great morning the time I needed to enjoy and recharge. I liked it so much, despite the unexpected obstacles that I plan to go again on Saturday- I’ll try a different trail. Life is to be enjoyed- through all the ups and downs.

     

    Question: what is your favorite living and enjoying the now quote or mantra? Leave your comment below or by clicking here.

     

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    Blah!! April Goals- How’d We Do?

    I started this year gung ho. I positioned myself to have my best year ever. Pretty exciting. I had my theme- “Live Like No One Else Will”. I wrote down my 3 BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals).

    I was ready to crush it.

    When the bells finished ringing on New Year’s Eve I was off to the races. Fully committed, my alarm couldn’t ring early enough. Night came too quickly. I was feeling good and riding high.

    Until….April.

    Do you ever have this experience? You fully commit to a goal, get excited and ramped up, buy a gym membership, start that first novel, throw out all the holiday treats and set that alarm 30 minutes earlier? Then, after a bit of time the newness wears off, it gets easier to skip the routine and those goals you set days, weeks months (minutes?) ago start to seem a little less important. I started to experience this during the month of April. I was (am) still committed to my goals for the year and I was (am) still working daily towards their completion but I just felt my enthusiasm was waning.

    I took a week vacation hoping it would clear my head and get me back on track but all it did was encourage my “lazy brain” – being unfocused appears great. I say “appears” because the reality is there is nothing great about being unfocused. It’s an empty calorie that after it is finished leaves you wanting something more. The vacation didn’t work. So as I considered ways of recharging my enthusiasm and sparking my engagement I came up with the following 7 practices for overcoming the mid-goal doldrums.

     

    1- Power Through – Sometimes you just have to power through. As evidenced above- although I was feeling uncommitted in April I still stuck to my routine. I woke up every weekday at 5:30am and did my pushups. I still made time to write a minimum of 500 words (you can check out that challenge at http://www.familybeforefortune.com/blog/30daychallengepost/. As I committed my mind to goal completion I found the repetition and the accomplishment of sticking with the effort gave me motivation. The motivation was not just in the goal but in not giving up on the goal.

     

    2- Remember how far you have come – When my alarm goes off I lie there momentarily thinking of a million reasons to stay put. Nothing could possibly be more important than 10 minutes more of sleep (so I rationalize). But then I shift my thinking to how far I have come this year. This truly is the best year I have ever had. I have accomplished more in the first 4 months than all of 2013 combined. That pumps me up. I am excited to grow even further. And so, I roll out of bed and go.

     

    3- Focus on those who believe in you – You are not alone, though at times it can feel that way. Each of us has our support systems. A cheering section of those who want you to be super successful and conquer your goals. Close your eyes and imagine your biggest fan- for me it is my wife- and imagine that person in a packed stadium where everyone is standing and clapping and whistling and cheering. The chant is go! Go! Go! Focus in on the face and voice of that one greatest fan. You can do it!

     

    4- Review and repeat – Never let your head hit the pillow without first reading over your goals and recognizing your efforts. As you review nightly your commitments they become part of who you are. They will be on your mind and that powerful subconscious will spend the night (and the day) searching for solutions and ways to make it happen. Your goals are like a rollercoaster at the top of huge hill. All you have to do is make sure that coaster is on the track and gravity will take you through the routine.

     

    5- Get an accountability partner – For nearly two years I have had an accountability partner. We have a 20 minute call first thing every Monday morning. On this call I have to account for my progress the previous week and stake my expectations for the current week. If I do not perform my partner lets me know. If my upcoming week isn’t transformative enough- he lets me know. Disappointment is a powerful motivator

     

    6- Just Start – the hardest time for me to focus and get in the flow is the evenings. After a long day at work and then dinner and homework and the bedtime routine I sit on the couch and give myself the mental pep talk to focus and write or do some more work. I come up with every excuse in the book to not focus in tonight- push it off another day. But then (usually) I fight my way to the laptop and begin to work. A funny thing happens, within a few minutes, the temptation that I just overcame disappears and I find myself energized and steadily getting in the flow. Sometimes you just have to power through the fatigue and desire to quit and just start. The rest will flow.

     

    7- Cheat Day – Finally, sometimes, you just need a little cheat. I have given myself permission to watch one movie a week (I love movies- I mean LOVE movies) but last week I just needed a cheat. I spent two nights movie watching. It made me feel so much better and recommitted and motivated. It was worth the break. On this point, I caution you about falling off the wagon. One cheat can lead to two cheats can lead to 30 days of Lost reruns. Know what your weakness is and employ safeguards to make sure you don’t abuse the cheat. You could limit cheats to one per month or quarter. You could substitute something else you enjoy for that cheat (like because I watched that extra movie this week I get zero next or I don’t get ice cream for a week (I love ice cream too)).

    Employing the above 7 practices has helped me stay focused and accomplish more this year. Although I had the April “blahs” I am feeling better. I am reenergized and ready to tackle my BHAGs.

    Question- How do overcome your waning enthusiasm and recommit to you goals? What secrets do use? Leave your thoughts below or by clicking here

     

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    Burnout Happens To Us All- How Do We Avoid It?

    Have the hours in my night been reduced?

    When my alarm went off this morning I was still really tired. I recently heard someone say they couldn’t remember the last time that they weren’t just little bit tired. We all have tremendously busy schedules. It’s the new economy right, do more with less people? We have our professional responsibilities, our family responsibilities, our personal responsibilities, our leisure and then some time for sleep. To me it feels like we are being asked to give up more and more of our remaining leisure time and sleep. The hours between “good night” and “hello sunshine” go by in a blink.

    The weekends are no better. We just shift the hours we sleep, staying up a little later and sleeping in a bit in the morning (if we don’t have kids). With the seemingly never ending routine we continue to live, it is no wonder that so many of us experience burnout.

    For many years growing up my grandfather suffered from debilitating multiple sclerosis. He fought a great fight and lived many years, mentally strong as his body deteriorated. In his later years he needed help getting out of bed and into his wheel chair. At the end of the day he needed help getting back into his bed. While he had professional nurses help in the morning, for over 10 years my father helped with the evening routine. I am certain that my grandparents had the ability to bring in help in the evenings, but my dad was glad to do it. The two of them grew very close over the years.
    Between the nightly assistance and the demands of his own personal and work life it was not uncommon for my dad to operate on 5-ish hours of sleep. In fact it was rare indeed when sleep exceeded 6 hours… for 10 years. During all those years he never complained of burnout.

    Since we all go through periods of fatigue and burnout here are 5 steps to reducing burnout’s impact:

    1- Proper diet. I am not suggesting “going on a diet” or weight loss, only you and your physician can make that determination. I am suggesting a conscious decision to reduce junk food and soda, limit the amount of refined and processed foods. My wife has been a real help to me in learning the proper foods I should be consuming. As I have focused more on fruits and vegetables I have found an extra little skip in my step and an ability power through fatigue. She has a lot of great tips and suggestions on health and exercise over at fittingitinfitness.com

    2- Take a little break. Burnout can be reduced if I consistently take little breaks and do things I enjoy. Take a little walk around the office, watch a few minutes of tv, call, email, or text a friend or play a quick game on my phone. Anything to give your mind a break. You can’t just save all of your break time for the weekends or the effects won’t last. Try for a few minutes every day to find your bliss.

    3- Set work limits. Are you tethered to work by your smart phone? I am. If you look at my business card or my email signature you will see that it has my cell phone number. Of course my email goes right to my phone and my office phone even forwards directly to my pocket. I have been trained as Maslow’s dogs to reach in and peek at every slight vibration or “bing”. In avoiding burnout it is important to set work limits and take real breaks. You may set 1hr to work on this project and then at the end of that hour take a 10 minute break. I try to be home by 6pm each night to have dinner with the family even though I have to do more work later in the evening.

    4- Get 7-8 hours of sleep. It is nearly universally believed in the medical community that an “appropriate” amount of sleep is important for health and our ability to operate at peak levels. While optimum amounts of sleep are not always possible, strive for the amount that you personally need (typically at least 7 hours). Hard? Yes. Impossible? No. I have a goal to get to bed by 11pm at least 4 nights a week and to sleep in at least once a week. That still allows me to get up at 5:30 and write.

    5- Set accomplishable “mini” goals. My final step for avoiding burnout is to celebrate your small victories. When you have a big project or a task with multiple steps and stages, celebrate the minor accomplishments. If you have the goal of email inbox zero, celebrate after every 50 or 100 you closeout. If you have to make 25 phone calls, take a break after 10 or 15. Reach back and pat yourself on the back or pump your fist in the air. Will you feel foolish? Maybe. Will it energize you for round two? Most definitely.

    Burn out happens (put that on a bumper sticker). If we take the few steps listed above we can reduce how often it happens and the length of time it affects us. As that great poet Jimmy Buffett says, “I can’t run at this pace for very long, maybe 10 more years”.

    Question: Do you have a burnout out busting technique that you like to use? Leave your comments below or click here.

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    You’ll Never Make it Blowing Bubbles

    Recently I was in Southern California with the kids for spring break and we visited the Discovery Science Center in Orange County, the Cube. Here are the 2 lessons that stood out.

     

    First- If you are passionate about something and invest your heart and soul into it, you can be successful- no matter what that passion is.

     

    This year, the museum is celebrating everything bubbles. And by bubbles, I mean the “dip the stick in and blow” kind. With our admission we got to attend a special mega bubbles and laser show. Designed for kids, the entire front area of the stage was jammed with eager kids. The show was incredible. The bubble-tainer has been travelling and putting on shows worldwide for 20 years. He is a world record holder with two records, one for the most humans in a single bubble (over a 150) and the second for creating the largest bubble ever (like 170 or 190 feet). A very talented young man, he put on a great show, including some amazing tricks with smoke in bubbles and spinning bubbles. Wow!!

     

    He is successful now, but I am certain that along the way he had been told (many times) that he couldn’t make a living blowing bubbles. Undoubtedly told to grow up and make something of himself. We were sure glad that he didn’t heed the naysayers. He has made a name for himself and found a way to make a living. It reminded me that, with enough passion, you can make anything into a success – even bubbles.

     

    Second – Never stop learning.

     

    Children’s discovery museums are amazing places, blending learning and entertainment. Kids run from exhibit to exhibit to try new things and experience the “how” and “why”. We launched rockets, discovered dinosaurs, laid on beds of nails and sorted pretend garbage, pretty exciting. At the end of the day I even had to bribe my kids to stop learning and leave (I got in the pool at 6pm and 60 degrees but we finally convinced them to leave).

     

    The excitement and learning in their eyes and on their faces reminded me of the joy of education. I am not sure what my kids will ultimately choose to study or what fields they will pursue but the experience exposed them to new ideas. My 6 year old spent 45 minutes standing under the burner of a rocket as it pretend blasted off every 30 seconds. I couldn’t help but imagine her in a white lab coat as a real rocket headed to space.

     

    I know I left the museum having discovered some exciting new interests and a renewed passion to follow my dream. If he can have a successful life blowing bubbles, I can be successful in anything I put my passion to- and so can you.

     

    Question: What is your passion or hobby, maybe since youth, that you need to pursue, maybe you already are? Leave your comments below or click here.

     

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    Finding Time To Write- 6 Habits to Get it Done

    Last month I was inspired by an interview with the popular blogger Nathan Barry. He has a goal to write 1000 words every day. At the time of the interview he was at 570+ consecutive days of writing. I could not imagine the power in writing over ½ million words. Benefits like training your mind to think and hands to type. I am sure that some of what he writes he considers less than quality and is never published. On the other hand, I am certain he has tons of great stuff that he uses all the time.

     

    I immediately took the writing challenge (at 500 words a day) and at the end of the first month I have averaged 800 words a day writing over 20,000 for the month. I try to write first thing in the morning before the distractions start and throughout the day I look for triggers of what to write next.

     

    Well….today is Saturday and the whole routine changed. I slept in a little getting up when the kids demanded breakfast. My wife is out for a run and I’m in charge. I looked at my schedule and realized the day is full. How am I going to get my 500 words? Solution, I am standing in the kitchen, waffle-sitting as the kids run like no one’s in charge, because dad is in charge. What better topic for today’s post than “Finding Time to Write”?

     

    There are six habits that help me focus and accomplish my daily writing goal.

     

    1-      Write First – I write the first thing after I wake up. The house is quiet and I have about an hour before the kids get going so I can focus without interruption. Because it’s early, the phone doesn’t ring, my mind is clear and I’m less stressed.

     

    2-      Turn off your email – If you are like me you get emails day and night. My phone buzzes constantly and I feel compelled to check. I use my phone’s “do not disturb” function during certain times (the night and while I write) to stop the interruptions.

     

    3-      Think ahead about your topic – If you are blogging keep a list of topics as they come up (I use Evernote). If you are working on a book, predetermine what chapter or idea you will focus on. Ideas come at various times (shower, car) and when you actually sit down to write you will quickly get into the flow.

     

    4-      Schedule your time – have a designated time to write and stick to it. Do not let any distractions or other important endeavors take priority.

     

    5-      Write don’t edit – Both roles are important to be a successful writer but it’s easy to get lost in the world of editing. During your scheduled time to write, write. Don’t worry about spelling or formatting; just get the words onto the page. Later, schedule time to edit and fix anything that needs changing. This will keep your creative flow and allow you to get your word count up.

     

    6-      Reward your success – I believe in celebrating victories along the way. For me, Diet Pepsi, I would drink 50 a day if it wasn’t killing me. I reward myself for completing my writing goal with one Pepsi for every 500 words I write. Advantage: limits my Pepsi intake (I know it’s bad for me) and rewards commitment to my goals.

     

    So even today, a Saturday with my messed up routine, I am able to get my in 500 words (or 807).

     

    Question: How about you- do you have a writing rule that helps you achieve your writing goals? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     

    By the way, if you liked this article, you should sign up for free updates. Find out more here.

     

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    The 30 Day Challenge – Thanks to Darren Hardy at Success Magazine

    A year and a half ago I read the Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy. The book talks about Darren’s 30 day challenges. He gives up something or takes something on for 30 days to “prove to himself” that he is in charge.

     

    I love the idea

     

    We can control our own destiny and that sometimes we need to show that negative little voice in our heads that we are in charge. Since my first (of many) readings I have taken on many 30 day challenges. They have all had varying positive impacts in my life. The very first one that I attempted was a 30 day “no soda” fast. For some of you this may be a no-brainer and quite easy but for me and my over 60oz a day it was a “challenge”. As a disclaimer, I am not a nutritionist or a health food junkie and I choose my challenges as things that will make me stretch a little (or a lot) and not necessarily on what is best for my health.

     

    Admittedly, I often count down the days until the challenge is over. On day 31 I always celebrate. I think it would be great if my challenges resulted in longer term changes in behavior but truthfully, that is not my real intention. I get satisfaction knowing that I took on the challenge and completed it.

     

    My 30 day challenges tend to be stronger and elicit more of a commitment for completion than many of my other goals and objectives. What does this have to do with today? As I write this I am beginning my newest 30 day challenge, a challenge that is likely the “most” difficult challenge I have attempted to date (and that’s with 18 completed challenges under my belt). The challenge is to write 500 words a day for 30 days. (word count this month, 334, so far).

     

    I chose this challenge because I recently launched my platform here at familybeforefortune.com and I want good quality content. I want to share inspiring and life changing ideas. If not for you then for me. I call myself a writer. I want to write and inspire through great literary insights. One of my mentors, and a very talented writer, Michael Malone challenged me to write 1000 words a day. To not go to bed at night until I have cranked out my 1000 words. That is a huge leap from casual writing to committed 1000 worder. I have committed to him at various times, started and stumbled and not excelled.

     

    Introduce baby steps

     

    I think that I can make the 500 word objective this month and then maybe bump to 1000 in the next.  I admit that this challenge makes me nervous. Most days cranking out 500-1000 words will not be a problem but this particular month I have family coming into town for a visit and then I am taking the family to Southern California for eight days (including the 2 days in the car). This will really force me to prepare my time, get up early, go to bed later and forgo an activity or two. But what better challenge then to take on a busy month with a challenging challenge? Ultimately I want to make this a habit, not just a 30 day challenge. Wish me luck (word count before edits 598, day 1 in the books)

     

    Question: If you could challenge yourself to give something up or take something on for 30 consecutive days what would it be? How would it change your life? Leave your comments below or by clicking here

     

    Posted on

    I Hate Mornings- Here Are My 6 Secret Weapons

    I am not a morning person. Maybe you are and that is great. I wish that I was because the house is quiet, the kids are briefly calm and my mind is motivated and excited for the challenge. Unfortunately, my problems start before the alarm even goes off. About 1 minute before my scheduled “wake time” I roll over and check the clock, hoping against hope that I have two maybe three hours left – but no…. my heart sinks and I realize the time is NOW. In my heart I know mornings are best for me to get things accomplished but my head wants just ten more minutes of sleep. I used to indulge. I was a “snooze bar” king often extending my bliss for 2-3 HOURS, 10 minutes at a time (this is before the 9 minute iPhone snooze- thanks Apple). I even coined the term “Jake Appreciation Day” for all the times I would miss class or other worthy alternatives. I think you get the idea- I struggle with mornings.

     

    I say “struggle” but should say “struggled”. I had to make a change. Living my passion and providing for my family required an adjustment so I developed a morning routine that has served me very well. Below are my six secret weapons.

     

    1-      Wake: For me it is 5:30am. I set my wake up notification (not alarm) to be something soothing and not abrupt or startling. I prefer to use instrumental music that starts soft and slowly builds in volume.

     

    2-      Motivation: A year ago I set up a free Mail Chimp account and designed a motivational template. I then set up a daily motivational quote to be delivered at 4am to my email box. Each morning I grab my phone and read my daily quote. If you would like to receive my daily motivation quote just click here.

     

    3-      Hydrate: after the motivation, I reach down and grab my Nalgene Water-Bottle and take a long drink of room temperature water. This has been a great step as it tells my body it is time to get going.

     

    4-      Sit-ups and push-ups: I hate this part but am always grateful when I am done. It gets my blood pumping and energy charged. Yes- I do sit-ups and push-ups every day during the week- it is a “routine”. Thanks to the motivation of Darren Hardy and his book “The Compound Effect” I add an additional push up and sit up per set (I do 3) each week.

     

    5-      Mediation: Now that I have invigorated my mind (motivational quote) and jump-started my body (exercise) I am awake enough to enjoy 10 minutes of meditation. I use this time for prayer and reflection on the day ahead and calming the “idea chatter” of my mind.

     

    6-      Go: I am ready to take on the challenges of the day, reading, writing, additional cardio, a shower, or breakfast with the kids.

     

    The world awaits and this whole routine only takes 20 minutes. I am set on a course for success because the journey of a thousand miles begins…with waking up.

     

    “The heights of great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night” or in the morning as it were — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Go make it happen!

     

    Question: Do you have a morning routine? What works for you? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.