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    Jake

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    Volunteering- A Win-Win

    Over the last 10 years I have worked in the non-profit world, working with youth in my local community to teach moral and ethical decision making. Currently, we have 13,000 young people in the program but only 17 fulltime staff members.

    How can we handle the sheer volume of participants with such a skeleton staff?

    We have nearly 5000 adult volunteers that register and help run aspects of the program. The great thing, besides the fact that many hands make light work, is that each volunteer brings their own skill set and perspective to the organization. The youth learn from a variety of backgrounds, experiences, and personalities. Because all of the volunteers are not compensated financially for their time and efforts, we are able to maintain a reasonable budget and add more impact to the program.

    But volunteerism is not a one-sided opportunity where volunteers give and give and do not receive anything in return. In fact, volunteering holds a lot of benefits. Because of my position in the organization I get to spend most of my time working with our Board of Directors; 48 men and women who each come from various backgrounds and careers including lawyers, doctors, small business owners, developers, real estate brokers, bankers etc. We have elected officials and semi-retired individuals, multi millionaires and successful college dropouts. Each person on the board joins for different reasons and taking from the experience different benefits.

    Conference table

    In working with this group I have found a few of the most impactful experiences to be:

    1- Friendships- nothing builds camaraderie better than rolling up your sleeves and getting down in the trenches to solve a problem. Working as a team to brainstorm potential outcomes, developing responses and implementing strategic plans create friendships, often between unlikely individuals.

    2- Joint Business Ventures- one great aspect of volunteering is being paired or grouped with those you do not normally associate. For example, if you work in real estate and are part of the local real estate forum you spend time with other folks in real estate. It can be good for learning best practices, but unfortunately doesn’t create much business. However, during volunteering, you may spend time with a banker who could be a source of referrals (note: you should not volunteer solely for the business rewards).

    3- Different way to look at things- when you get a group of varied backgrounds working together on solving problems you are exposed to different lenses of approaching those problems. Some of the solutions translate into your current business practices. A problem you are struggling with in your professional life may find an answer in your service life.

    4- A break from the routine- many of us have very demanding lives and trying to juggle work and home limits our opportunities to give back and recharge our batteries. Volunteering gets a change of pace onto your calendar and forces you to focus your efforts on something else for a little while.

    5- Service- working with an organization that benefits those not as fortunate or as experienced as you gives you the opportunity to experience life through their eyes. Blessing others blesses you. As Jim Rohn taught, “giving begins the receiving process”.

    There is growth in knowing you have made a difference.

    The most successful person that I know, and he has multiple homes, cars, toys and trips, runs 5 different companies and is also the most generous person I have ever met; both with his time and with his money. In his home town everyone knows of his reputation of generosity and as a result, everyone wants to do business with him. He is successful because of his generosity which allows him to be more generous.

     

    Question: Have you seen any unexpected benefits from your volunteerism? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     

    If you haven’t read my new eBook 13 Life Lessons you can get a copy free by clicking here.

    Image courtesy of Adamr / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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    Ahhhhh- Stress!!!! How Do You Overcome It?

    Wow! Life can be very stressful. Sometimes I sit and think about all the things I have going on and wonder how (and if) I will ever be able to accomplish it all. Like…. a full time job as a Director of Development that takes a lot of time each day raising over $2M, three kids under age 9 and this new endeavor as a content creator.

    Stress

    Each role has its ebbs and flows of stress. Depending on the day I may be planning a special event or trying not to miss a gymnastics meet or editing a post before the deadline. Obviously organization has been very helpful in keeping each of the plates spinning and letting nothing drop. But, even with my many lists and time management tools I still have experiences where I miss something important and experience a surge of stress.

    A few weeks ago my 5 year old was having her very first gymnastics meet. She was sooo excited and practiced all day everyday showing anyone who will pay attention her back bends and cartwheels and whatever else she can do. I was excited for her and couldn’t wait to see her perform.

    I want to go to everything my kids are involved in. I want them to know that nothing is more important than they are.

    Now, back to the gymnastics story… I had a bunch going on that day at work but made sure I scheduled everything perfectly so I would be finished and back in time. As the hour approached I hopped in the car and took off at an excessive speed trying to make it. The entire drive I was one big stress case. I feared whether I would make it and it stressed me to no end.

    Stress happens.

    What can we do to minimize or overcome stress when situations beyond our control occur?

    1- Honesty- Stress can be created by our concern of what the other person may say or feel. Being honest can reduce stress. Being prepared with their phone number and making a call early is respected and can build your reputation as conscientious and professional

    2- Deep breath and stretching- In my office I have one of those office chairs with the switch that allows it to rock back. When I feel the pressure start to build I unlock the switch, hook my hands behind my head, close my eyes, lean back and take some deep breaths. It doesn’t take a lot of time, maybe 5 seconds, but stops the stress before it can even begin.

    3- Walk around the block- In stressful situations I need a few minutes alone- away from any people. When stress gets too high, I stand up and take a walk down the street. Just removing myself from the situation coupled with physical activity reduces stress.

    4- Jam the tunes- I spend a lot of time lately listening to audiobooks and podcasts. I love the education and motivation they offer. However, when I feel the stress coming on, I kick on the tunes, a few of my favorites with a peppy swift beat and I turn the volume up LOUD. A few of my favorites include “Tonight” by OAR and “Knee Deep” by Zac Brown Band.

    5- Get a bite to eat- I have noticed that for me, I tend to get most stressed when I am focused on a project, work uninterrupted for a few hours and do not get a snack or drink of water. As my blood sugar or nutrient levels dip so does my ability to handle stressful situations. When I notice the effect coming on I stop and grab a handful of nuts or a big drink of cold water.

    6- Watch something “incredible” or “hilarious” or “incredibly hilarious” on YouTube- If you are like me, you have no shortage of friends emailing you clips from YouTube that are “must views”. Most of the time I do not have/take the time to view them. But, when I find my stress level creeping too high I take a minute and pull one or two of them up and have a chuckle. One of my current favorites is “Dude Perfect” and their amazing trick shots. You can’t help get excited and motivated when you see their excitement.

    7- Popcorn and a movie- I do not watch a lot of television and I don’t have a favorite current show. Most of what I watch is a few years dated when it appears on Netflix. When I have had a particularly tough day I pop a bowl of popcorn and throw something on. For me, I have found it important to NOT watch sports when I am trying to alleviate stress. I can watch 2 teams I do not like, playing a sport I’m not particularly interested in, between kids half my age and within 2 minutes I can be passionately for one side and against the other. I’m even crushed when “my team” doesn’t win. I love sports and any sport is amazing and enjoyable to watch, I just don’t watch to alleviate stress.

    8- Anything with my wife and kids- Cheesy, I know. Nothing puts smile on my face faster or elevates my stress better than seeing my kids or talking with my wife.

    Well, I didn’t make the gymnastics meet on time. I ran in the door just as my daughter’s team was exciting to applause. I sat with my other kids and watched the other teams perform. After the meet my gymnast daughter ran up and gave me a hug. She was so excited, had so much fun and even though I missed her show she was thrilled I came and loved recapping the pictures mom had taken. Stressful? Yes. Life ruining? Hardly.

    Question: How do you handle stress in your life? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

    If you haven’t read my new eBook 13 Life Lessons you can get a copy free by clicking here.

    Image courtesy of stockimages/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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    High Productivity Vs. High Morale

    What do you think is most important in your organization, high productivity or high morale? Don’t we all agree that having both is ideal? Finding a balance between the two is a worthy goal but which should be the focus of your organization?

    Team Build
    This is a question that I am not sure I have a definitive answer for.

    I work for a national 501(c)3 not for profit organization and like most non-profits we are always trying to do more with less (not sure this is exclusive to non-profits). We have way more work and needs than we have people to do the work. I know that I personally could work 100 hours a week with no watercooler time and still have 100 hours of work sitting on my desk the next morning. High productivity is needed.

    My job and all the jobs in my company are very demanding and often require nights and weekends to be sacrificed. As people give up their personal and family time for the requirements of employment morale dips.

    When morale dips, productivity dips.

    We, like many companies, try to create opportunities for the team to bond but it doesn’t always produce the desired outcomes. Team bonding exercises can often eat into the bottom line financially with no noticeable benefit. Let me give you a couple of recent examples that my company tried. One was incredibly effective and the other only moderately.

    1- Annually the entire staff takes 3 days for a staff planning conference and retreat. We drive about three hours away and get hotel rooms and plan breakout sessions, training sessions, brainstorming exercises and year reviews. One of the evenings we do something special for the staff, reserve a room at a nice restaurant and take the team out for socializing and fine food.

    2- We contacted a local food truck and had them park in front of our building for a couple of hours and sell to any interested staff. We did not offer to provide any food or subsidy for the experience just arranged the truck.

    On the surface you may think that experience number one had the most impact and positive effect on staff morale. You would be wrong. In the nearly 10 years I have worked with my company nothing has had the effect on morale that the food truck experience had. I think this happened for a few different reasons.

    1- Required- The staff retreat was required for all to attend. Regardless of personal commitments and other family responsibilities each staff member was given enough notice and expected to participate. The food truck was 100% optional.

    2- Money Outlay- At the staff conference the expenses were covered by the company. This was expected because the conference was mandatory. However, because the financial responsibility was on the company it wasn’t appreciated as much as something personally paid for.

    3- Organic- This is probably the biggest factor contributing to the difference in the impact of the two experiences. The staff conference was planned, coordinated and felt forced. The food truck was natural and created a buzz around the office in anticipation. There was no expectation just natural excitement

    4- Options- The staff conference was planned and coordinated during every hour. From the time you ate breakfast to the evening activities. Although many of the sessions were very well done, and some were fun, there was not chance to choose your own adventure. With the food truck you could go out when you pleased, split items with co-workers and even return multiple times. People congregated in front of the truck just to talk, laugh and see what was chosen.

    5- Expectation- expecting employees to participate in any activity automatically separates those who will enjoy the activity and those who will criticize. It also sets the expectation that the experience will either live up to fail to live up to.

    6- During Work Hours- People are very protective of their personal time. We spend so much time and focus on our work that when we do have time off we really want to enjoy it and use that time as we see fit. As important as staff conferences are they take personal time away from the employee which necessitates balance with family responsibilities etc. Activities that allow staff to bond but do so without eating into personal time are more powerful and create better morale building experiences.

    There are a lot of reason we need to have our annual staff planning conference and the whole event is beneficial to staff, preparing each person for the upcoming year by setting expectations and defining roles. But, for all the time and financial investment it cannot compare to the power that an optional organic staff experience can have on employee morale and camaraderie. We should be doing both types of morale building exercises but shouldn’t be surprised if the returns on investments are different. We cannot do a food truck every week or it would become expected and just another distraction…it’d become a staff planning conference.

    Question: What is your favorite organic staff morale experience? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

    If you haven’t read my new eBook 13 Life Lessons you can get a copy free by clicking here.

    Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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    Who is Your Hero? Let’s ask Matthew McConaughey

    Today I listened to Matthew McConaughey’s acceptance speech from the 2014 Oscars. He won Best Actor for his role in Dallas Buyers Club. After thanking all the important people in his life, his wife, kids, parents etc., he thanked his hero.

    Superhero kids1

    If you didn’t see the Oscars you might wonder “who is this hero”?

    McConaughey goes on to tell a story. When he was 15 a respected mentor asked him who he admired, “Who is your hero”? Recognizing this as an important question young McConaughey requests a couple of weeks to think about it. Two weeks later his mentor asks again “who is your hero”? This time he had an answer,

    “It’s me in 10 years.”

    Ten years later, now age 25, the same mentor approaches him again and asks “So, are you a hero”? McConaughey’s response was perfect, “not even close! No, no no.” She asked “why”? “Because my hero is me at 35… every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero’s always 10 years away. I’m never gonna be my hero. I’m not gonna attain that; I know I’m not. And that’s just fine with me, because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasin’.”

    Superhero kids2

    Who is your hero?

    Do you have a vision of your future self that you daily seek to become? Goal setting is an important part to becoming your “hero self”. Goals should be set just a little beyond your reach; far enough that they are challenging to attain but reasonable enough to keep you focused and pursuing completion.

    When setting goals I recommend looking into the future 5 years and asking yourself “what needs to happen in the next 5 years for me to become the person I want to become?” Once you have that target in mind, break those long term goals into yearly goals. “What needs to happen in the next year for me to be on track to hit my 5 year objective? Then break them down further into quarterly, monthly and weekly objectives. Finally you get down to the level where you can wake up every morning and motivate yourself to do that 1 thing that will put you on track towards fulfilling your 5 year vision.

    When setting goals I recommend following the SMART formula:

    S- Specific- Make sure you specify exactly what you are going to achieve. Waking up early might seem like a good goal but “wake up at 5:15am” makes it specific.

    M- Measurable- Make sure that each goal you set has a measurable outcome. I think “being happy” is a good life philosophy but to make it measureable try something like “give my spouse 5 (sincere) compliments today”.

    A- Achievable- I’d really like to play in the NHL next season but setting that as a goal might not be realistic. A better step is to set incremental achievable outcomes “score 3 goals this season on my recreational hockey team”.

    R- Relevant- If your 5 year achievement is to finish writing your first book, setting a goal to run 10 miles a week might not be the most relevant course of action. Registering for a creative writing class at the community college, however, might be.

    T- Timely- Set a time frame. You can write great SMAR goals but if you don’t give yourself a deadline to shoot for, procrastination will keep you from finishing.

    My hero is me in 5 years. I really look up to that guy. He has it pretty put together. I think I can become that guy if I put my mind to it and work towards my goals. My SMART goals.

    Goal #1: Record and publish 17 30-minute podcast episodes for Family Before Fortune by December 31st, 2014
    S- 30-minute podcast episodes – Specific check
    M- 17 – Measurable check
    A- 1 a week starting September 4th – Achievable check
    R- In 5 years I want Family Before Fortune to be a well-known brand, podcasting will help – Relevant check
    T- by December 31st, 2014 – Timely check

    Question: What SMART goal will help you become your hero? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

    If you haven’t read my new eBook 13 Life Lessons you can get a copy free by clicking here.

    Image courtesy of AKARAKINGDOM/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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    What if I won the lottery?

    Lotto

    What would you do if you won the lottery?

    Lotteries are becoming a very popular topic these days. It seems every couple of months we can feel the momentum build as the jackpot rises past $100 million, to $200 million on its way to becoming the largest jackpot ever. Promising untold opportunities and all of your problems solved with the purchase of just one ticket.

    In the most recent mega millions jackpot the winner purchased the ticket just a few miles from where I live. I was so close to winning; all I had to do was purchase a ticket. I didn’t. In fact I have never purchased a ticket before in my life.

    Sure I would love to have millions with which to play and do whatever I want but “dumb luck” is not how I want to get it.

    This morning I was thinking about what I would do if I did win the lottery, or better yet, what I would do if the company I have poured my heart and soul into took off and became so successful that money was no longer a thought. The reality is I think that I would continue to work; maybe not in the same way that I do now piling on the hours. And, I might be a little more selective in the clients I engage. But I wouldn’t (couldn’t) spend my days on the couch watching movies and eating chips and salsa.

    I would love to do “some” travelling. There are many places in the world that I would like to visit and experience but I couldn’t spend the rest of my days just traveling. I would likely get a little bit bigger house, but who needs a “too big” house. Sure there are a lot of conveniences that having unlimited wealth would provide but “not working” would not be one of them for me.

     Why?

    Because work is important – for many reasons:

    1- Self-esteem– There is power in knowing who you are and the satisfaction of knowing that you have the power to complete, to grow, to become more and to get better. All are part of the self-esteem growth that comes from working.

    2- Mental stimulation– Work gives you opportunities to use your mental problem solving skills. Your brain is a muscle and grows stronger with use. As you tackle day to day challenges you increase your mental ability and become able to tackle more and more challenging problems. Work gives your brain something to do.

    3- Human interaction– Work can be very social. Even if your job is to sit behind a computer and write about the social benefits of working. When I put together an article I am thinking of you, my audience. I put my thoughts out there and hope that you will enjoy and engage. After I write I jump on social media and interact, answering questions and posing others. Then I have the opportunity to get out and speak to different groups on the things I write about. Even my computer job is social.

    4- Sense of accomplishment– When I have a goal to accomplish I feel a sense of pride. Shooting for a target and hitting it makes you feel important and you have a chance to recognize your unique talents and use them to move your organization forward while developing personally.

    5- Enjoyment– Work can be fun. It is not always fun but it should be mostly fun. As Confucius said, “choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life”

    I do not dream about immediate wealth through lottery jackpots. I seek to find my success and fulfillment through hard work and continually growing and developing. I do not want to rob myself of the journey. I am who I am today because of the experiences that I have had and in the future I will be a better person because of the challenges that the future holds.

    I am passing on this mega million lotto opportunity.

     Question: What would you do if you won the lottery? How would it change the way you live your life today? What is stopping you from living that life anyway? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     By the way, if you liked this article, you should sign up for free updates.

     

    Image courtesy of James Barker/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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    Scarcity or Abundance

    Do you have a mindset of scarcity or one of abundance?

    A mindset of scarcity believes that resources, ideas and opportunities are limited; that a finite number of people that can be successful in any endeavor and once a ship has sailed, bon voyage.

    A mindset of abundance believes that ideas and opportunities are limitless, or that the limit is so large that for all intents and purposes it is limitless.

    So which do you have?

    In certain circumstances, particularly natural resources, there may be limits and it is prudent for us a people to pay attention and use our resources wisely; but in most areas, especially the areas of ideas and opportunities I subscribe to abundance thinking.

    No one is you. You are unique and come with your own set of experiences and background, giving you a distinctive voice and perspective, a new and different way to approach and solve each problem you face.

    Recently, podcaster John Lee Dumas from Entrepreneur on Fire was named 2013 Best in Itunes for his daily podcast. His idea, start a podcast interviewing experts in social media. Not a terribly unique idea. In fact it is one of the most crowed spaces in podcasting with some very established big names and experts already doing virtually the same thing. Had John Lee subscribed to the scarcity mindset he would have thrown out his idea and looked for something else.

     

    But, John Lee believes in abundance and took his unique approach, a daily release podcast, and became hugely successful surpassing the same established experts that could have discouraged him from starting.

     

    Ideas and opportunities are not scarce; motivation and commitment are. Almost everyone who has taken a shower has had an idea, but how many act on those inspirations? Very few. People give every excuse in the book of why they cannot and do not pursue their ideas: too busy, lack of funds, too much competition, too lazy et cetera. They see the ship as having already left. It has not.

    Here are 4 steps to catching that ship before it disappears over the horizon:

    1. Set aside time– What are you willing to sacrifice to make your dream a reality? Can you do without a little sleep? How about reducing your television time or staying a few minutes longer at the office? If you cannot find time to go after your passion you don’t want it bad enough. There are countless success stories of people who worked 2 jobs and found time to chase their dream. Schedule and commit to working. Lack of time is a scarcity mindset.

     

    2. Commit– as Thomas Edison famously said, “opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work”. Anything worthwhile is going to take commitment and sacrifice, dedication and intention. Commitment is an abundance mindset.

     

    3. Don’t fear failure– Do not let fear get in the way of a great opportunity. It may be as simple as asking yourself “what is the worst thing that could happen”. I mean really happen. Often when you look at it that way there is actually very little to fear at all. Other times you need to step into the darkness confident that when you do you will be able to see a little bit further. What if you do fail? Sometimes we win and sometimes we learn. Each failure can be a stepping stone to the next victory. Fearing failure is a scarcity mindset.

     

    4. Catch the next ship– It’s possible that certain ships really have sailed. It is time to look for the next one. If your dream is to start an 8-track company you could give it a go- that’s a pretty niche market and you may be better suited to consider digital audio or the next wave coming. Richard Branson, a business icon who definitely has an abundance mindset said that “business ideas are like buses, there’s always another one coming”.

    Having a scarcity mindset will not help you to accomplish your dreams. Set aside time to make it happen, commit to success and working hard, don’t limit yourself with fearful thinking. Opportunities and ideas are abundant.

     

    Question: I want to know what you do to overcome fear of failure. Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     

    Also- If you like reading these posts I think you will really enjoy my daily success quote delivered to your email inbox. Sign up here.

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    New Routines: The Good, the Bad and the….What Do You Think?

    This morning I began a new routine. I set my clock a few minutes earlier, hopped out of bed and went running. Now, I am not a runner and the idea of getting up a little earlier (ugh) and running (double ugh) is not my idea of a good time. But I need to do it. After I exercise I always feel invigorated and motivated. I can concentrate better and I accomplish so much more. The actual practice of running frees my mind. Some of my best ideas come during the course of my workout. While running today I was thinking about routines and if they a good thing.

    Pros-

    1- When you have a routine you don’t have to think about what you are doing. You can focus your mental energies on other thoughts and brainstorming. When I run my mind is free and my thoughts are free. I am not focused on the action (running) but rather on my writing and work. What can I do better, change or eliminate? (Today I outlined this post)

     

    2- Routines enable you to maximize the benefits of repetition. In the Compound Effect, a book by author Darren Hardy, he writes about the growth (compounding) that happens when small actions or steps are repeated consistently over time. Having a solid routine puts you on the path of consistency.

     

    3- To have a routine you must have a plan. Without the plan your schedule would never be the same and would therefore not be a “routine”. The most important step in creating positive change is deciding to change and then making a plan for that change. Last night as I prepared for today I got out (and dusted off) my running shoes, laid out my clothes and filled up my water bottle. Having a plan put me in control of my day and gave me excitement in anticipating the change.

    Cons

    Disclaimer- I am a big advocate for routine so my cons are more “considerations” when planning your routine not reasons to avoid routines.

    1- Remember to keep some variety in your routine to ensure you do not get burned out or injured. A previous routine had me waking up and immediately doing sit-ups. It was a great routine and I was seeing results but it had no variety and after a few months I found my back starting to hurt from the repetition. I needed to change my ab work out – not stop altogether.

     

    2- When we get focused on a routine we may miss or overlook changes that could be improvements. A positive of routine is the ability to focus thoughts on other topics- allow the activity (routine) to run on auto-pilot. But, if we are not careful when we do this we can miss adjustments that would help us. Re-evaluating the routine every so often will keep us fresh, excited and motivated.

     

    3- Finally, do not let the routine rule you. This is your life and you are in charge. Remain flexible in your routine allowing your mind and body to push you down the path of improvement. If you need to change, shake it up or even take a “cheat day” don’t be afraid to adjust your routine.
    A lot of my life is becoming routine, my morning wake up, my writing, putting the kids to bed and winding down my day. I have made reviewing the current day and planning the next part of my routine. This keeps me in charge of what I am going to focus on and what I am going to avoid. I think a lot of the positive things that I have been able to accomplish in the past year can be attributed to committing to a positive, well planned routine….. and then going after my dreams.

     

    Question: How about you? Share your thoughts on routine, the good…the bad…. Leave your comments below or by clicking here

     

    How do you like the new website? A lot of great things are coming soon at Family Before Fortune. Make sure you stay tuned. Sign up for my free newsletter and know when new posts go live.
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    The Power of Physical Activity

    I have done a lot of writing on mental activities; thinking and the power of positive thought. I am a huge fan of motivational speaking and inspiration and I love quotes. I am a voracious reader and often have 2-3 books at a time in various levels of completion. I love learning and get really excited about being invited to conferences.

    But today I needed an intellectual break. I needed to recharge my mental faculties by spending some time doing some physical activity. A group of guys that I know put together an ice hockey team and we had a game tonight. Boy did I need it. It has been a long time since I spent the day excited and eagerly anticipating the drop of the puck.

    I left earlier to the rink than I normally do just to make sure that I wasn’t late and was the first one on the ice. I had a lot of fun and played “ok” but the real benefits are those not found on the ice. There are five immediate benefits I recognized tonight.

     

    1- First- Clearer thoughts. The game changed my focus from my business and all that I have going on at work and by taking that focus away I was able to gain clarity on some of my ideas.

     

    2- Inspired– Nothing like a jog around the block or a quick hockey game to remind you of the great things life offers. When we sit in front of a computer daily we can find ourselves getting a little down. Increasing the heart rate and having fun always leaves me feeling inspired

     

    3- Camaraderie– I do a lot of work on my own and spend a lot of time in the car or responding to emails. Even when I do get the chance to chat with somebody it usually revolves around work topics. Physical activity especially in a group setting or team sport gives you the opportunity to build bonds of friendship, even with competitors; it is a chance to laugh and joke and be friends

     

    4- Smile– I am not a fitness professional and have very little knowledge about the human body and the internal benefits of exercise but I do know that when I exercise I feel better. It makes me happy. I think I read somewhere that exercise triggers some sort of internal bodily chemicals that act as natural drugs giving you a happy feeling. I definitely have experienced that. Win or lose I often come home from a game excited to share and positive in my outlook on life.

     

    5- Relaxed– Probably because I am exhausted but I feel very relaxed right now. I admit today was not a relaxing day. In fact it was quite stressful. But as I sit down to record today’s thoughts I find that I am incredibly relaxed. I am sure that I will sleep very soundly tonight.

     

    Well- we lost. We actually got beat pretty badly and we were out played. It wasn’t even a close game, except 0-0 when it began. We did some things right and did many things poorly but we all had fun. We all benefited from the physical exercise. And now as the team prepares for another day of work we will all be better able to excel and progress because of the power of the physical activity.

     

    Question: What is you favorite stress relieving physical activity? Leave your comments below or by clicking here.

     

    How do you like the new website? A lot of great things are coming soon at Family Before Fortune. Make sure you stay tuned. Sign up for my free newsletter and know when new posts go live.
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    Use the Gifts that You Have

    Ever since my children were newborns I have read to them each night before bed. It is a ritual that I have very much enjoyed over the years. I get to spend time with them and be there as they fade off to sleep.

     

    We have read all sorts of books over the years from Dr. Seuss to princess books, good books to real sleepers, chapter books, picture books and even recently a book with no words (I had to make up a story to go with the pictures- it was actually quite fun).

     

    Tonight I read a story about a race through the jungle with various animals (Jungle Run). The race consisted of an obstacle course and in the beginning the animals scoffed at one young cub who wanted to participate but appeared too small. As the race got under way the cub was left in the back as the larger animals surged ahead.

     

    At the first obstacle, a net close to the ground that the animals had to go under, the cub overtook the larger animals because of her size. The next obstacle was a rope swing. The elephant was too big and fell in but the small cub swung straight across. In the end the cub emerges triumphant and the moral, as I took it, is that we all have special abilities that can help us emerge triumphantly.

     

    Some characteristics that you have that may initially appear negatives but could help you surge to the lead

     

    1-      Quiet– Are you the type that likes to stay back in a conversation, taking it all in. Some may describe you as a little shy? Maybe you have the ability to listen and process conversation and predict outcomes. The art of listening is much understated these days. With the aggressive tell all- sometimes the one who listens best can pick up on things others do not notice.

     

    2-      Humor– Do you have an ability to make people smile or lighten the atmosphere in a room? I am not talking about the class clown who does more to annoy than to entertain. I am also not talking about a standup comic who adds nothing to a conversation except humor. In tense situations it is nice to have someone who can lighten the mood. A person who doesn’t take himself too seriously and is comfortable enough to laugh at his own mistakes.

     

    3-      Imperfect– Do you make mistakes? Of course you do and we all do, but how your react or respond to mistakes can tell a lot about who you are and if people are willing to follow you.

     

    4-      Honest– Can people come to you for honest feedback and advice? Having a reputation as someone who is honest but fair brands you as a leader.

     

    5-      Sympathetic– Do you have the ability to see things from another’s point of view? Even if you do not agree with the other person or if you know that they are definitely wrong, having the ability to see it from their eyes can help you lead.

     

    6-      Humble– Do you recognize your own limitations or graciously accept victory? Being humble and being confident are not mutually exclusive.

     

    At the end of the race in our story above, the cub comes out triumphant because she is able to use her unique situation, her smaller size, as her advantage. We all have abilities that help us come out victorious, even if on the surface those abilities may not appear valuable.

     

    Question: What attributes or abilities do you have that may be understated or dismissed as invaluable? Leave your comment below or by clicking here.

     

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    Office Etiquette and Being a Good Person

    I recently read a humorous NPR article about theft deterrent notes that people leave on their food in community fridges- like an office or apartment. I had a good chuckle as I thought back on “disappearing cereal and sandwiches. As I reflected I thought of 6 standards of etiquette we should all strive to observe. Quick disclaimer, I am not Emily Post and I do occasionally burp at the table.

     

    1-      Make time for those you work and associate with– We have all had that experience when we tap on the door frame or the top of a neighbor’s cubicle and they are too busy staring at who knows what to even turn and acknowledge your presence. Fostering a collaborative relationship in the office (could be apartment) means taking a moment to look up.

     

    2-      Don’t be that guy (gal)– The person who comes by and interrupts your hard work to tell you about their new baby kittens, how the season finale of (input favorite show here) or how you can save 15% on your car insurance….and then stays for 15 minutes (or more) blah blah blahing. Don’t be him/her. Respect your associates time and keep your cat news for the lunch break or your Facebook status update.

     

    3-      Leave my sandwich alone– I couldn’t write a post about office etiquette without at least mentioning the community fridge. I get hungry and that is why I brought the sandwich. Please do me the courtesy of allowing me to eat it. As an additional piece of advice- if it looks rotten it probably is. If it doesn’t look rotten I still want it. If you work from home and your spouse eats your sandwich just move on…

     

    4-      Headphones (and related… pause the Pandora)– we all have our own tastes in music and while I may not be able to comprehend how you accept that jumble of screaming and whiny guitar as pleasurable listening I do respect your decision to subject yourself to it. However I do not want to hear it. So might I suggest that you turn the volume down a smidge, pop in headphones or patiently wait for the privacy of your own automobile? Thanks. Also- if you do listen to music in your private office, when a co-worker comes in for a meeting or an update hit that pause button. I find it a bit difficult to communicate with a Backstreet Boys serenade.

     

    5-      Mobile devices– Everybody has a cell phone. Even that guy who proudly shows off his original flip phone has a cell phone. And for some reason cell phone discussions occur at volumes higher than normal conversations. So if you need to take a call, especially in a common area, walk away to a quiet corner. You may think we want to know the intimate details of your personal life but we don’t. I shouldn’t have to add this but I will; the restroom is not a “quiet corner”. Related: when we are talking and you peek at a text or email I consider it rude- thanks.

     

    6-      Grandiose claims– I love to celebrate success and share with the team. It builds trust and inspires others to reach higher and do more. I only ask that you wait until the success actually happens. Deals fall apart and exciting news can turn out not quite exciting. In group settings everybody freely shares success and opportunity but we never revisit the topic if details change or facts are misquoted. I really dislike the feeling of sharing my team’s successes with clients and then finding out it didn’t actually happen that “exact” way.

     

    Wow- what started out this morning as a humorous NPR article morphed into a little rant about office etiquette. At different points in my life and career I have been guilty of almost every one of the above mentioned standards (except, of course, eating someone else’s sandwich). I think we could all do a little bit better professionally respecting our colleagues

     

    Question:  Did I miss any? Do you have an office etiquette standard that should be observed? Leave your comment below or click here.

     

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