Do you like to be critiqued? Who does right? But it is through evaluation that we have the opportunity to learn and grow.
A year ago I joined Toastmasters. Toastmasters is an organization designed to give members opportunities to work on their public speaking skills. There are all sorts of different clubs that vary in size and skill, focus and affiliation. But even with all their differences certain things are universal. The program is designed to give you chances to write, practice and deliver speeches and be evaluated.
As if standing in front of a group isn’t bad enough, Toastmasters has compounded the issue by having peer evaluations on how you did. I make it sound worse than it is. I have really enjoyed the experience and find that most of the participants are eager to assist in your growth process.
Toastmasters isn’t the only organization out there challenging people to get better through the process of evaluation. Schools and most education are set up to test progress and performance. If you hire a personal trainer the first thing they will do is an initial evaluation and track your progress adjusting your workout to maximize your progress over time. Even at work you are evaluated; whether it be the 360 degree evaluation or a manger face to face. And if you work for yourself, you don’t escape evaluation from clients and even yourself.
The reality is we are constantly being evaluated. Right now you are evaluating me on my writing ability, topic selection, font style and color scheme. But that is not a bad thing. It is through evaluation that we grow and become better.
For example, I hate hearing the sound of my recorded voice almost as much as I hate seeing a video of me doing just about anything. I am self conscious that way. But I love to talk and I love to tell stories. I am eagerly anticipating the upcoming release of the Family Before Fortune podcast in a couple of weeks.
Recently I sat in a recording booth where you watch a brief snippet of prerecorded NHL hockey game and listen to the play by play announcer. Then, like karaoke, you can follow along with the announcer and record your own voice announcing the action. Of course I had to try it and…. I sounded awful. Ok maybe it wasn’t awful but ESPN wasn’t shoving a contract in my face. The one thing about the experience that was beneficial, besides being fun, is that I got immediate feedback on where I excelled and where I struggled. The next time I can improve and be stronger.
Just like most things, through repetition and adjustment we get better. But how can we get better if we are unaware of what needs work? Swallowing the bitter pill of critique (constructive) or evaluation should be something we eagerly accept. Here are 3 steps to make sure you get the best positive results out of your evaluations.
1- Carefully select your evaluators– you are always being evaluated but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to every evaluation. Listen to those who have your best interest at heart. Those that want you to excel and grow. The others, those who criticize for criticism sake (haters) – in one ear and out the other. Don’t let those who don’t matter…matter.
2- Focus on incremental improvement– when receiving suggestions focus on what you can improve first and don’t become paralyzed by what may appear as overwhelming information. Pick one or two suggestions and work on those first. Rome wasn’t built in a night and even you must learn to walk before you run. Baby steps and consistency mean work on improving 1 area and then taking on the next challenge.
3- Take evaluations as suggestions– we are in a pretty cynical and critical society. Everybody has an opinion and a burning desire to share it. Even most compliments are followed by a “but”. Know that you will never be able to please everybody and sometimes people are critical out of jealousy. It doesn’t mean the suggestion is a good one or should be considered. At Toastmaster’s, every time I give a speech I am told that I need to “use the stage more”, meaning walk out into the audience. Sounds reasonable….but it’s not my style and I do not think forcing a style that is not “me” would ultimately be good for my speaking persona. That said, whenever I hear the stage thing I smile and nod and move on to suggestions on improving areas I think more impactful.
Evaluation is a good thing. It is only through recognizing deficiencies and opportunities for growth that we can become better, more powerful and more impactful. So, the next time someone tells you “you should…” run it through the 3 step filter and if it passes… work on implementation.