The miracle of the Chinese Bamboo is a great metaphor for our lives in working with our family to prepare for its future. I first learned of this metaphor while studying the late Stephen R. Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families”. The Chinese Bamboo is unique in that for 5 years there is no physical evidence (above the ground) that anything is happening. For five years, it appears, the seed of the Chinese Bamboo lies dormant, making no progress at all. In reality, the tree is creating an expansive root structure, spreading wide preparing itself for the grandeur of its future. Finally, during that fifth year, an explosion happens; the Chinese Bamboo emerges and then quickly (within 1 year) rises to 80 or more feet in height.
Now you ask, how do I relate this back to our family situations?
Some of you may be going through struggles with your family, a wayward son, an obstinate sibling, a difficult parent or even weakened spousal relations. You feel as though your efforts to restore, rebuild and recreate go unnoticed and unrewarded. Sometime for many years you reach out, try to communicate, apologize, beg and if inclined pray for positive relationship growth. Before giving up, think of that relationship like the Chinese Bamboo. You may be in year four of the growth cycle, with strong roots; tomorrow may be the day that your relationship sprouts to a towering 80 feet.
Let me share a small example, almost 10 years ago I personally faced a relationship crisis. A sibling and I had an unhealthy rivalry. We spent many years competing and arguing, trying to “one-up” each other (sounds shocking I know). History had paid its toll and the relationship had been reduced to near nonexistent. Of course this troubled me (partly out of guilt for my role in perpetuating the decline- which I denied). It seemed that every brief chance we had together only made things worse. But of course the story does not end there (otherwise why would I include it in this article?) One year, you could say “year five”, something changed. It was simple, stupid really, something about mp3 players and sharing music, but it was our opportunity to agree, to put aside trivial matters and work together.
From that moment, the Chinese Bamboo made its first appearance. Within a (very) short time period, the relationship exploded upward. And now… although we live hundreds of miles apart, we talk weekly visit regularly, motivate, inspire, compliment and truly care for each other. Indeed the competition of youth has matured, grown if you will, into the collaboration of adulthood. The point of the Chinese Bamboo metaphor is simple really; we all go through periods in our relationships where we feel growth is obstructed and worry that our efforts are of no value. In reality this is the time that our relationship foundation is being built, the elaborate root system is created that will sustain that relationship and its enormous growth.